Updated: May 12, 2022
Welcome to the Curiously Wise podcast. I'm your host, Laurin Wittig. This podcast is all about women supporting women, mind, body, and spirit. It's a place where we will honor, celebrate, and share women's natural and experiential wisdom through curiosity provoking conversations, shared stories and tips we've all gathered along this journey. I invite you to join in the fun as we uncover the unique wisdom, we each carry within us. Ready? Let's get curious!
[00:00:00] Laurin: Welcome to curiously wise. I'm so happy to have you here today. And to have our guests here with us, Candy Motzek who I've met recently. And we've just been having fun, getting to know each other. So, I know that she's going to be very interesting to you.
She has a podcast. I love the title of your podcast it's called She Coaches Coaches. That tells you a little bit about what she does. So, I'm going to have Candy, if you would just tell us something about yourself and we'll go from there.
[00:01:11] Candy: I've got a long history as a corporate leader and I loved that work. I used to really enjoy talking with all the people on my team and the people that I reported to. And then I found out one day that there was actually this thing called coaching, and it really struck me like it wasn't being the RA RA RA coach and pushing people past their limits.
It was encouraging people to be more of who they were. And so that really got my curiosity up and then life changed. I decided it was time for something new. And so I started my coach training and that's been a few years ago now. So I've been coaching for years. I love it. It's funny to have a career that you actually love, like just unabashedly love doing it.
I started coaching coaches a few years ago and they are some of the most interesting people they're giving and kind and heart-centered and they want to make a positive change in the world. And I just can't think of more interesting people to be coaching.
[00:02:22] Laurin: Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it lovely to be in the, in the company of people like that? It's always a joy. I took a peek at Candy's bio before I got on the air with you and there's some things that jumped out that I just thought would be fun to talk about. One of them is you mentioned your mistakes are informed the work you do now.
And so I'm curious about how, how you see the wisdom coming out of those. And do you know what immediately or hindsight, or how does that work for you?
[00:02:50] Candy: Yeah, well, within hindsight, the mistake in the moment is like, it's just, it's just not a lot of fun. I always go into these things thinking that, oh, this has gotta be great and it's gonna work out really well. And then sometimes it just doesn't right.
[00:03:06] Laurin: Yeah.
[00:03:07] Candy: So for me, the wisdom comes through with the hindsight of looking at it with that kind of the longer range view.
And then also combining that with the mistake is only just the thing that happens in this world. It's not really a reflection of who I am at my core. And so it's just remembering that as well really helps me.
[00:03:33] Laurin: Yeah.
That perspective of hindsight is amazing.
Here's the other one that really jumped out at me. My dad and I used to people watch together. It was a favorite game of ours. And I saw that, you mentioned that often coaches will be just sitting there, people watching. So what is it that you learn or what is it that you enjoy about that?
Because it's one of my favorite things to do.
[00:03:56] Candy: What a good question. I love that. It's funny cause I like watching people and it's not necessarily the way they interact with other people. It's kind of how they are on their own and it's the way they move. The vibe that they have, how they just, how they appear and the, I don't know what makes it so fun.
I think that I'm just always. I'm just always interested in them. I kind of wonder what their story is, what their life is like, what they're doing, how come they're here, like in this, you know, maybe I'm sitting somewhere and I'm watching them like, what are, where are they at in their life that they're here in this moment at the same time that I'm here as well?
I think it's just more curiosity and I’m just fascinated with people.
[00:04:49] Laurin: My dad would direct me. We started doing this when I was very young and he would go, you see that person over there with the briefcase? Where do you think he's going? What do you think he's what's he got in the briefcase? And it really was a, it was a very curiosity increasing kind of activity, but it also made me much more observant of people in general, because I think the more I watched people, the more I sort of had the language of emotions, language of body language, you know, all those kinds of things to play with.
And I certainly find it helpful when I started writing novels. I've never heard anybody else say they love to people watch. So that's why it really jumped out at me. And it's yeah. I mean, that's what I do. I sit in a airport and I'm watching the families and watching the kids and yet it's great.
I highly recommend it.
[00:05:32] Candy: And then there's one other thing. And this is kind of the spillover. And I don't know if you've noticed this or how the same experience, but for me when I'm coaching primarily even if it's in a group setting, I'm still talking to one individual person or asking one individual a question.
And I find that I really like good at noticing the fine detail. Like if something, if they're a little bit uncomfortable, they do this thing with their hair or they hold this necklace or they do something a little bit, just slightly different with their shoulder. And so just that really watching them. I hope helps me just be that much more compassionate about holding the space for them when they're in a place of discomfort.
And then also sometimes coaches ask these questions that make you uncomfortable. And if we can just kind of laugh a little bit about it, it just makes it easier. It doesn't mean the question doesn't need to be addressed. It just means that it's not life or death.
[00:06:29] Laurin: So how did you first become a coach? You said you were a leader and then you became a coach. So what brought you in that direction?
[00:06:39] Candy: So I believe that I've always been a coach. When, even when that kind of career didn't exist,
I'm the kid that the other kids used to come and talk to
[00:06:51] Laurin: Hm.
[00:06:51] Candy: When I was working in corporate or anywhere I was the person, no matter what role I was in, people would walk into my office and close the door and sit down and say, can I talk to you for a minute?
And so. I kind of felt like, you know, Lucy from the peanuts cartoon where you said like, kinda like that,
I would just sit there, be minding my own business. And all of a sudden people would show up and say, can I talk to you about something? And I like the connection. I like that. Just this, the one-on-one of being there for somebody or to support them or to celebrate with them. It just warms my heart. And so, yeah, I think that's why kind of always being there.
And then, then you do the training, you know, now there's training to be a coach. You just don't have to be like Lucy, you know,
[00:07:51] Laurin: Yeah. Right. How do you work with people? Do you work one-on-one? You work in groups? How do you prefer to work with the coaches you coach?
[00:07:59] Candy: Well, I work one-on-one primarily. Yeah, primarily now it's one-on-one. We get together for 12 weeks and we meet weekly. I have a little bit of training that I offer. The training part is the part that's the easiest for somebody becoming a coach. The hard part is to get over all the stuff that's going on in their head.
What are other people gonna say? What did they think of me? Can I do this? Self-doubt. Lack of confidence. I don't know what to decide. Lack of clarity. It's all that stuff. That is the real you know, that's the real heart of the coaching is to help people know, that if they want to do something that they can do it and just to guide them, guide them through that.
So it's all one-on-one right now, eventually I'm launching a group, but not quite yet. but even with the group, the few groups that I do facilitate there's a singular time with a conversation with one person and then another conversation with another person.