Welcome to the Curiously Wise podcast. I'm your host, Laurin Wittig. This podcast is all about women supporting women, mind, body, and spirit. It's a place where we will honor, celebrate, and share women's natural and experiential wisdom through curiosity provoking conversations, shared stories and tips we've all gathered along this journey. I invite you to join in the fun as we uncover the unique wisdom, we each carry within us. Ready? Let's get curious!
[00:00:00] Laurin: Welcome to curiously wise. I'm so happy to have you here today. And to have our guests here with us, Candy Motzek who I've met recently. And we've just been having fun, getting to know each other. So, I know that she's going to be very interesting to you.
She has a podcast. I love the title of your podcast it's called She Coaches Coaches. That tells you a little bit about what she does. So, I'm going to have Candy, if you would just tell us something about yourself and we'll go from there.
[00:01:11] Candy: I've got a long history as a corporate leader and I loved that work. I used to really enjoy talking with all the people on my team and the people that I reported to. And then I found out one day that there was actually this thing called coaching, and it really struck me like it wasn't being the RA RA RA coach and pushing people past their limits.
It was encouraging people to be more of who they were. And so that really got my curiosity up and then life changed. I decided it was time for something new. And so I started my coach training and that's been a few years ago now. So I've been coaching for years. I love it. It's funny to have a career that you actually love, like just unabashedly love doing it.
I started coaching coaches a few years ago and they are some of the most interesting people they're giving and kind and heart-centered and they want to make a positive change in the world. And I just can't think of more interesting people to be coaching.
[00:02:22] Laurin: Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it lovely to be in the, in the company of people like that? It's always a joy. I took a peek at Candy's bio before I got on the air with you and there's some things that jumped out that I just thought would be fun to talk about. One of them is you mentioned your mistakes are informed the work you do now.
And so I'm curious about how, how you see the wisdom coming out of those. And do you know what immediately or hindsight, or how does that work for you?
[00:02:50] Candy: Yeah, well, within hindsight, the mistake in the moment is like, it's just, it's just not a lot of fun. I always go into these things thinking that, oh, this has gotta be great and it's gonna work out really well. And then sometimes it just doesn't right.
[00:03:06] Laurin: Yeah.
[00:03:07] Candy: So for me, the wisdom comes through with the hindsight of looking at it with that kind of the longer range view.
And then also combining that with the mistake is only just the thing that happens in this world. It's not really a reflection of who I am at my core. And so it's just remembering that as well really helps me.
[00:03:33] Laurin: Yeah.
That perspective of hindsight is amazing.
Here's the other one that really jumped out at me. My dad and I used to people watch together. It was a favorite game of ours. And I saw that, you mentioned that often coaches will be just sitting there, people watching. So what is it that you learn or what is it that you enjoy about that?
Because it's one of my favorite things to do.
[00:03:56] Candy: What a good question. I love that. It's funny cause I like watching people and it's not necessarily the way they interact with other people. It's kind of how they are on their own and it's the way they move. The vibe that they have, how they just, how they appear and the, I don't know what makes it so fun.
I think that I'm just always. I'm just always interested in them. I kind of wonder what their story is, what their life is like, what they're doing, how come they're here, like in this, you know, maybe I'm sitting somewhere and I'm watching them like, what are, where are they at in their life that they're here in this moment at the same time that I'm here as well?
I think it's just more curiosity and I’m just fascinated with people.
[00:04:49] Laurin: My dad would direct me. We started doing this when I was very young and he would go, you see that person over there with the briefcase? Where do you think he's going? What do you think he's what's he got in the briefcase? And it really was a, it was a very curiosity increasing kind of activity, but it also made me much more observant of people in general, because I think the more I watched people, the more I sort of had the language of emotions, language of body language, you know, all those kinds of things to play with.
And I certainly find it helpful when I started writing novels. I've never heard anybody else say they love to people watch. So that's why it really jumped out at me. And it's yeah. I mean, that's what I do. I sit in a airport and I'm watching the families and watching the kids and yet it's great.
I highly recommend it.
[00:05:32] Candy: And then there's one other thing. And this is kind of the spillover. And I don't know if you've noticed this or how the same experience, but for me when I'm coaching primarily even if it's in a group setting, I'm still talking to one individual person or asking one individual a question.
And I find that I really like good at noticing the fine detail. Like if something, if they're a little bit uncomfortable, they do this thing with their hair or they hold this necklace or they do something a little bit, just slightly different with their shoulder. And so just that really watching them. I hope helps me just be that much more compassionate about holding the space for them when they're in a place of discomfort.
And then also sometimes coaches ask these questions that make you uncomfortable. And if we can just kind of laugh a little bit about it, it just makes it easier. It doesn't mean the question doesn't need to be addressed. It just means that it's not life or death.
[00:06:29] Laurin: So how did you first become a coach? You said you were a leader and then you became a coach. So what brought you in that direction?
[00:06:39] Candy: So I believe that I've always been a coach. When, even when that kind of career didn't exist,
I'm the kid that the other kids used to come and talk to
[00:06:51] Laurin: Hm.
[00:06:51] Candy: When I was working in corporate or anywhere I was the person, no matter what role I was in, people would walk into my office and close the door and sit down and say, can I talk to you for a minute?
And so. I kind of felt like, you know, Lucy from the peanuts cartoon where you said like, kinda like that,
I would just sit there, be minding my own business. And all of a sudden people would show up and say, can I talk to you about something? And I like the connection. I like that. Just this, the one-on-one of being there for somebody or to support them or to celebrate with them. It just warms my heart. And so, yeah, I think that's why kind of always being there.
And then, then you do the training, you know, now there's training to be a coach. You just don't have to be like Lucy, you know,
[00:07:51] Laurin: Yeah. Right. How do you work with people? Do you work one-on-one? You work in groups? How do you prefer to work with the coaches you coach?
[00:07:59] Candy: Well, I work one-on-one primarily. Yeah, primarily now it's one-on-one. We get together for 12 weeks and we meet weekly. I have a little bit of training that I offer. The training part is the part that's the easiest for somebody becoming a coach. The hard part is to get over all the stuff that's going on in their head.
What are other people gonna say? What did they think of me? Can I do this? Self-doubt. Lack of confidence. I don't know what to decide. Lack of clarity. It's all that stuff. That is the real you know, that's the real heart of the coaching is to help people know, that if they want to do something that they can do it and just to guide them, guide them through that.
So it's all one-on-one right now, eventually I'm launching a group, but not quite yet. but even with the group, the few groups that I do facilitate there's a singular time with a conversation with one person and then another conversation with another person.
[00:09:02] Laurin: Do you find that there's a pattern to the kinds of people that show up to work with you? Or is it just sort of random people coming from all different directions?
[00:09:12] Candy: My marketing hat says that there is a particular way that people find me and come to work with me. And that's all fine, I think that that, that the right people sort of show up they'll they'll land in your sphere and all of a sudden. I'll get a DM from somebody that I've never met before.
And they've maybe been listening to my podcast or they've watched something that's on social and there'll be like, no, no, I have to work with you. I heard your voice. And you're the person that I need to work with. And I'm like, okay, well, let's talk and we'll see. So there's the overt marketing message.
And then there's what I think really happens is that when you show up in the world aligned with who you really are and in service that the people will find you. And I know that sounds a little field of dreams, ish, but there's, you know, there are some people that I'm not the right person for, and they're not going to be interested in talking to me.
[00:10:09] Laurin: For me, my clients. They see me, they meet me, they they'll hear me somewhere and they are drawn to me, you know, it's, it's just, and I think probably your, your energy is very similar that it's just, they're going to resonate with you and the person that you are and the energy you're putting out.
And I get I kind of think of it as being like a magnet. They get kind of magnetizing pull each other together, you know,
[00:10:31] Candy: Yeah.
[00:10:32] Laurin: Yeah. So that's, that's kind of what I would expect. Having talked to you have some that your energy it's certainly it's lovely, and light, easy to, to be in. So that's something that would attract a lot of people I imagine.
So I want to ask you about there's this concept of, of having a niche I know that healers, we all sort of have our own little niche of how we do things, but in the coaching world, do you find that that niche is important or is there something else that is more important?
[00:11:02] Candy: Yeah. And it's, that's interesting because the niche question is usually one of the stumbling blocks that new coaches have. They have this thing that they have to have the perfect niche before they can then become the coach because, so they hold themselves back from coaching instead of just trusting that they already have that niche within them.
And so that's where I remind people that they have a super power and their superpower, their strength is so innate to them that it's easy. Like they don't think it's an anything. But the other people are like, oh, I really, really, really want some of that. Like a little for instances, one of my superpowers is calm, to feel calm.
And so a lot of people will come into my space and we're coaching on some topic and they'll say, you know, no matter what, I just know that after we're done, I'm going to feel so calm after I talked to you. For me, it's like, huh? really? And that's the, that's the thing is that for healers or for coaches or for anybody you've got that super power and you've just forgotten about it.
So you don't have to go and make a decision. You just have to remember and it's already there.
So that would be, that would be the place. And that's the niche is who you are.
[00:12:29] Laurin: I love that. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. it's part of why I like to talk about wisdom because I don't think people realize how wise we are And I used to run a group called the Wise Women Circle and I loved it because we had these conversations and I always learned so much from the other women.
I was guiding it, I was offering the topic, but they would say things that I just blew me out of the water. And they're like, what I like that was so wise, they just don't understand it. So yeah, it's a finding that. Thing your super power. I think you really need somebody outside you to notice it for you, because like you said, we don't, we don't understand it about ourselves.
We don't know we're wise. We don't understand what our superpower is and other people will tell you if you give them half a chance. That's my experience.
[00:13:18] Candy: Right. Yes. I agree. Have you ever done this exercise where you basically email a few people and ask them what it is? What's your experience of being with me? What would you say my superpower is? I will tell you, it is one of the most humbling exercises you'll ever do. Not from a place of somebody who's you're you feel like you're on somebody's high horse or something, but that you had no idea.
Absolutely. No idea. What kind of an impact you really have on people.
[00:13:52] Laurin: Yes. Yeah. I haven’t done that particular exercise though. I've heard of it before and I was like, oh no I can't do that. But I, I have one, one, dear, dear friend. She's like a sister to me and she mirrors back to me how unique my skills are, particularly with this, with the healing. And I'm like, what do you mean? They're unique? It's just, everybody can do this. Can't they. I finally stopped and said, okay, wait, you keep telling me this, but I don't understand it.
Can you explain to me how I am different from the other healers that you know, and see, and she was, she was able to, and I was blown away. It was like, really? That's not normal. for the listeners out there, I want to suggest that you try this. You, you take Candy's suggestion and just ask people what impact you have on them.
What's your super power. I bet You're going to learn a lot about yourself. And probably be able to bring more of whatever that wonderfulness is of yourself out into the world and your wisdom. I go around these days asking people what, what's your favorite nugget of wisdom to share?
And they'll go, oh, I don't have any. And then they'll start telling a story. And there it is.
[00:15:04] Candy: You're not going to ask me that question because it's terrifying. It's not one of those fast action questions.
[00:15:12] Laurin: Not exactly, but kind of something akin to that.
[00:15:16] Candy: Maybe it's better you just prepare me to that.
[00:15:18] Laurin: Yes, I
[00:15:19] Candy: My palms are already sweating. Oh my God.
[00:15:22] Laurin: Now and why don't we move into those? I asked these same questions. There's four questions. I asked them of everybody who I interview cause I want to kind of be able to compare and contrast the answers and share them later in a compilation or something.
So my very first one is, Who is or was the wisest person in your life? don't you
don't have to think about it too hard. Whoever comes to your mind first
[00:15:45] Candy: So it's my dog.
[00:15:51] Laurin: They're awfully wise aren't they?
[00:15:53] Candy: Yeah.
[00:15:54] Laurin: So is there, is there some particular piece of that, of that wisdom of your dog that you want to share with us?
[00:16:00] Candy: Well. I've had a lot of dogs. But I had one dog he's been gone for a few years now and he has this, had this way. Like life was amazing. He loved everybody. Like he didn't know you, but he loved you. He just had so much joy with everything that he did and you know, like to be loved, like that is amazing.
So, yeah.
[00:16:30] Laurin: Yeah. To be able to move through the world that way and just see the good in everybody.
It's
[00:16:34] Candy: Yeah. And everybody loved him and everybody. Yeah.
[00:16:39] Laurin: When you put that out, it comes back at you. Right. You get a little wiggly dog going I love you. I love you. It was like, yeah. I love you too. Yeah, I love that. That's awesome. So what's your favorite self-care practice for yourself?
[00:16:58] Candy: Every morning when I come out to my she shed for my morning meditation, it's usually dark and there are two trees that I stand between. If it is spring or summer, I always do barefoot. I'm always barefoot on the way out. And those trees are. Yeah, present, fully present.
So I stand there and I sip my coffee and I'm just there. And then I go into my she shed to do my morning meditation.
[00:17:24] Laurin: Oh boy. I can just feel the peace of that just as you're describing it. I love trees.
[00:17:29] Candy: You can see one of them. It's right there. Yeah.
[00:17:32] Laurin: Yeah.
Trees are magical. I love them. All right. So what lights you up when you're feeling down.
[00:17:39] Candy: Anything green. I love greenery. I love the beach. I love greenery. Nature. Always. Yeah.
[00:17:47] Laurin: That's my that's my go-to.
[00:17:49] Candy: Yeah.
[00:17:49] Laurin: And do you have a favorite mantra or affirmation?
[00:17:52] Candy: I have so many, that's the problem.
[00:17:55] Laurin: First one is that comes to mind.
[00:17:57] Candy: I am.
[00:17:58] Laurin: Hmm. That's a good one. Okay. That's great. All right, well, thank you for joining me here on Curiously Wise. I've really had a fun time talking with you. And I want to thank the listeners for being here with us, and I hope that they can feel this beautiful energy that was created as well.
From my heart to yours I wish for you, creativity, joy, peace, and a lot of curiosity.
[00:18:26] Candy: Oh, thank you so much.
[00:18:29] Laurin: Thank you so much for joining us today on Curiously Wise, I hope you found a nugget of wisdom that resonates with you, perhaps it brings comfort, or strength, or simply the peace that comes from knowing you aren't alone in your experience, or perhaps it illuminates the wisdom already within you. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to subscribe.
so you don't miss future fabulous conversations. And if you had any ahas, please share them in a review on iTunes so we can continue to pay forward the unique wisdom we all have to bring into the world. If you want to know more about me and what I do as an intuitive energy healer, please head over to my website.
www.Heartlightjoy.com. I'm Laurin Wittig. Please join me again next week for another episode of Curiously Wise. From my heart to yours, may your life be filled with love, light, joy, and of course, curiosity.