Jennifer: [00:00:00] Most of us who are highly sensitive and empathic, that we are like that. We are buying into the idea that we're being a drama queen, that we're buying into the idea that we've taken it too personally.
And I think before we can even start to discern what's ours, what's not ours, whether or not we're experiencing empathic overwhelm, or whether we are just really having a spin out and having kind of a meltdown on a difficult day, we really need to acknowledge our empathic sensitivity and the fact that it is affecting us.
Laurin: Hello friends, and welcome to Curiously Wise. I am your host, Laurin Wittig, and today I have Jennifer Moore with me and she has so much experience. We're gonna have a great conversation and I'm just gonna read you a little bit of her [00:01:00] bio so you know a little bit about it before we start.
So, Jennifer Moore is author of Amazon Bestseller, Empathic Mastery, one of EFT International, 122 Master Trainers in EFT, if you've heard of tapping, that's what that's about. And a mentor and healer for other highly sensitive empathic women. Intuitive from the get go. Jennifer experienced her first prophetic dream when she was age nine, and she's been navigating her extra sensory awareness ever since.
Supporting intuitives, light workers and creatives to use their abilities for good is Jen's greatest passion. I love that. I love that. Thank you for being here, Jen.
Jennifer: Oh, Laurin, thank you so much for having me here. It is just such a delight.
Laurin: Yeah, we're gonna have fun.
Jennifer: We are. I know it.
Laurin: We're already having fun
Jennifer: Exactly. Yeah.
Laurin: So, let's just dive in. You are a specialist on Empathics, and I didn't know I was an empathic until very late in [00:02:00] my life, unfortunately. So, let's start just by for people who don't maybe know what an empath is. If you could just tell us your definition or how you define that.
Jennifer: Absolutely. So first off, I wanna say that there isn't necessarily like a DSM definition of what it means to be an empath. It's not a pathology, it's a word. And different people have really different meanings, so I'll share my perspective and my meaning, which is that an empath is a person who picks up the thoughts, the feelings, the energy, sometimes the will and desire and intentions of the world around them.
And the challenge of being an empath is where a psychic or an intuitive may be able to pick up on this stuff, but can distinguish what's theirs and what's not theirs. What distinguishes an empath from other sort of, open people who have extrasensory or [00:03:00] paranormal abilities is that empaths experience all of these things through their own emotional, mental, and physical filters.
And so even though we pick all the thoughts, the feelings, the energy and sensations up from the world around us, we experience it as if it's our own. And this makes for challenging, especially in a world that seems to be kind of on fire right now. And so, it's very, very easy to really feel like you're drowning in the emotional soup.
Right. You know, as a highly sensitive, empathic person right now.
Laurin: Yeah. Yeah. I grew up in a pretty volatile family and it was, it was a hard place to be and everybody would say, why are you crying all the time? And it was cause I was overwhelmed.
Jennifer: Overwhelmed. Well, and probably the other thing I have found is that very frequently the [00:04:00] empath is the sort of designated feeler in a family system and where you might have a family where there's a lot of like compartmentalizing of emotion, a lot of suppressing of feelings, and a lot of just kind of like move along, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
Nothing to see here folks. The empath does not have that luxury and a lot of times the empath is not just experiencing the emotions of their own, but is picking up on all of the unspoken messages, all of the emotional things that are happening that other people are attempting to suppress or deny.
Laurin: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I didn't know I was doing that at the time, but looking back, I can see where I was always scanning the horizon for who's about to go off, who's, who's really mad and it hasn't popped yet. You know.
Jennifer: Yes, yes, yes.
Laurin: Maybe I should leave now.
Jennifer: Well, and there's definitely a real correlation between[00:05:00] growing up in a volatile environment, whether it's within family or within school systems or other things, and cultivating this hypervigilant awareness of whether something's gonna be dangerous. Now, there are people who suggest that empaths are a product of trauma.
I actually don't agree with that because if that was the case, everybody on the planet would be an empath.
Laurin: Unfortunately, yes.
Jennifer: But there is this sort of, I do believe that trauma or difficult experiences and adverse childhood experiences amplifies our empathic sensitivity and may activate it within some of us. But I do believe that just like some people are just naturally gifted as basketball players, some of us are just naturally more sensitive than other people.
Laurin: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I, I agree with that. And that does jive with my, my family of origin. So [00:06:00] how does one know. Because I spent a lot of my life thinking I was just, you know, oversensitive and maybe a little crazy and, and needy and all of that. How do you know if you're an empath versus just a drama queen?
Jennifer: What are, what an amazing question. I mean, and I just wanna say that they don't have to be mutually exclusive either that, you know?
Laurin: I was saying it, I was like…
Jennifer: Yeah, sometimes it's both. So, I mean, there are a couple things that I have found to be the case and one of the things you just already said, it is like you grew up feeling like you were being overly sensitive.
If there's anything that seems to be consistent is like empaths very frequently have been told since they were very, very small. You're overreacting taking it too personally. Oh, you've got an overactive imagination. You are worrying too much about it. Just let it go. Stop worrying about it.
Why are you concerned about that? That's not even your problem that's going on with somebody else. And sometimes in family systems that are[00:07:00] round partners or loved ones who were a little bit less validating, sometimes they might say things like, you're crazy. You're making shit up. Like, stop overreacting.
Jennifer: I would say that in my experience so far, actually, I have yet to meet a single person for whom those things were not basically a denial on the part of the people who did not want us to acknowledge what was really going on. And that I have yet to meet an empath who was overreacting. So, in some ways, I guess I would say, what if we start by stop gaslighting ourselves?