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Transcript Solo Episode: Take a Leap

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[00:00:00] Laurin: It was crazy. It just unfolded. And in hindsight, now I know that taking that kind of leap and then having it all unfold like that is because we were in the flow. We were in that flow of where our energy, our souls, our higher selves wanted us to go, wanted us to be.

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Hi friends and welcome to Curiously Wise. I'm Laurin Wittig, your host, and today I wanna share kind of a multi-generational story with you because it's about taking leaps, taking leaps of faith, taking leaps of courage, and how great they can be when you, especially when you look back at them and see how they've changed your life, good or bad, easy or hard.

There's always things to learn from these leaps that we take in our lives. And so I just wanna share a little bit of a story of my personal experience recently that has echoed sort of the, this lesson in my own life. This summer I was traveling a lot and that's a good thing.

I love to travel. It's been a couple of years of where we really couldn't travel. We had a lot of big trips set up for 2020, and of course those didn't happen, so we had, we kind of jam packed 2022 with a lot of traveling. And one of my trips, I had a lot of special trips this year, but this one was something I will come back to again and again, I think. And this was a trip that I took with my son where we drove his car from the East coast, from Williamsburg, Virginia, where I live to the West coast, to Seattle, Washington where he and his fiancé were moving.

And she had gone out early to kind of get things going on that end. And we were gonna drive across in August the northern part of the country. This was something on my bucket list. I wanted to do a cross country drive I think since I was a kid.

My big brother did one, well, it was cross country from Mississippi out to the west coast and back, so it was kind of half country. But here I get to go. Cross country from one shore to the other. So it's been on my bucket list a long time and I got to do that and I got to do it with my son.

And that was special cuz he's grown, he's lived about two and a half hours away. So I got to, I get to see him, you know, every now and then, but not often. And so to spend essentially five solid days with him. We had a blast. We actually had really beautiful weather except for one couple of hours in Sioux Falls where a tremendous thunderstorm came through.

So we just pulled off and sat in the lee of a building for a little bit. But other than that, the weather was remarkably awesome and the geological changes that happen as you cross this country are mind boggling and fascinating. And so that, that was some of the stuff that I really wanted to see.

It was quite magical in a lot of ways. My son and I, we had great conversations. We listened to some interesting podcasts cuz he's a big podcast listener and so he introduced me to a couple of new podcasts that I had not listened to that were fascinating.

And, it was just this really nice sort of time out of time with him that I haven't had since he was younger, before he went off to college. That was one aspect of this, this time with him. And it was such a treat. Our daughter had moved to Seattle almost nine years ago.

Yeah. Probably coming up on 10 years. And her father had driven her out, so they had that experience. So this was kind of fun for me to get to do it with the other child who is an adult. But when I was telling friends about doing this, and again, when I got back, everybody said, well, aren't you sad to have them so far away?

Isn't that, aren't you sad that they're moving? Wouldn't you rather have them here? And I had the same response when our daughter moved away a long time ago, and now when our son has moved away. And that is no, I actually am in conversation with my daughter way more when she moved out there than when she lived in my home.

So there's the lovely technology that doesn't make them feel so far away, and that's nice, but there's also this idea that why would I want them to stay here just to keep me company? I moved a lot as a kid. My mom liked to have a new house every couple of years, I don't know why I never asked her, but it meant that I changed schools regularly and I rarely went to a school more than two years.

And, and so, you know, the idea of moving was not unusual to me, but also the idea of moving far away, that was something that I had done. So I had done it in my twenties. They were a little bit older actually. My daughter was almost exactly the same age, but I had moved from the DC area to New Orleans when I was 23, I think.

And I went to grad school down there. My mom helped drive me down there and helped me find an apartment and helped me move. And I had done the finding of the apartment stuff with my daughter when she moved out there. And now I got to do the driving down there and helping move part with my son.

So I was able to sort of pay that forward, which is kind of cool. But also I knew from that experience that even though it's hard to move, especially far away, you're leaving friends behind, you're leaving familiar places behind. You're leaving old patterns and habits behind. You take some of those with you, but some of them are site specific and it also gives you some distance from that previous life, however it came to be.

That gives you perspective on it. And allows you to kind of let go of things that weren't working so well for you and, and take up some new things. Bring new people into your life. Bring new interests into your life. Bring new activities into your life. Cuz every place has its own things that are going on.

So for me, that had been a very positive experience. I loved living in New Orleans. I loved it. It's such a weird place. There's no other place like it in the US that I've experienced is as closest to somewhere old in Europe as I've ever experienced here. But there's Aua de Viva, a joy of life there that in spite of a abyssal climate, and you know, things like Katrina come through.

And there's a lot of poverty, and yet there's still this joy in the air there that I love. So anyway, I loved being down there and I met my husband there in this weird set of synchronicities. We ended up working in the same restaurant which I was doing part-time as a student.

And I met him there. Neither of us were from there. Both of us had come there to go to school at Tulane, but he was undergraduate and I was graduate. Moving so far by myself was lonely at first. It was intimidating. It was a new city. I wasn't familiar with it. I had visited there as a child, but I'd never lived there.

Didn't know anybody there. I did have the advantage of school was gonna be starting shortly after I moved there, so I knew that I would be meeting people, so that helped. But there were a couple of weeks that were really hard. So I know that that's part of the process, but I, looking back, it was like, yeah, that was a couple of weeks really, it felt like forever at the time, but it was a couple of weeks before I started to meet people and started to settle into sort of a new life and a new pattern.

And it was so beneficial to me in many ways, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. It's in every way may life was improved and changed in some pretty huge ways. I mean, meeting your husband we've been married for, oh my gosh, 37 years now. I think it, I don't know, but so major trajectory change. Now, he and I had decided after we got married, we'd lived down there for about a year after we got married.

That really New Orleans wasn't the place that we wanted to raise kids. We didn't have any yet, but we, we knew we wanted them. So we just started thinking, maybe we need to think about where we want to start a family. And both of us had experience with being close to our grandparents when we were young and really relishing that time with our particularly grandmothers.

And so we decided that cuz we didn't really know, we thought about maybe North Carolina for a little while, but we didn't really have anything specific that was drawing us there. So we finally decided because of the grandparent thing, that we should either look at Boston to be close to his family or DC, to be close to my family.

And I had lived in Rhode Island. I wasn't real keen on, on the winters up there. He didn't really wanna live in Boston, he knew enough of it to know that that wasn't someplace that he'd ever wanted to live. And he had visited DC with me. So we just decided that we would do. And so that was a big move.

It wasn't as big for me because I was moving home, essentially, but it was a huge leap of faith for him that this would be okay, and that we would be able to build a life there with kids which we did. We were able to get financially on our feet. We were well employed.

My husband had become an IT consultant, a computer consultant we called it back in the days which was a very good area to be in. We were able to really start a family and buy a house and all those things that you wanna do when you're at that point in your life.

But our son, when he was born, our second child, the one I drove out to Seattle with, was born, he was very sickly and he had ended up with really bad asthma starting at about nine months old, which is very early. And the, house we were in was an old house and it, just was moldy and we had all kinds of things that were a problem for respiratory issues, but also we lived north of the city.

And that's where all the pollution blows from, and we weren't far from the beltway, so a lot of pollution. And that also was an asthma problem. So we spent almost two years, I think it was looking for a better place to live, still near DC because that's where our family business was. And we just couldn't find a house we could afford and a place that we liked that wasn't too bad.

A commute had good public schools, all of those things. And we're really getting not desperate, but tired of looking. We needed to get out of the house we were in because it just was not a healthy house particularly for our son. But I had allergies and asthma too.